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I only had to think back to the moment the doctor told us in a small cubicle sized private office, that James would not see his next birthday. I remember doing the mathematics and screaming in anguish, ‘That’s only six months away!’ I remember how I howled, I remember how I broke down and I remember my wicked thoughts when I looked at Sushi who had sat there in rigid shock, with no outward emotion for either her son’s impending death, or the evident grief of her husband. I remember thinking that it was supposed to be her who fell apart and me who should be the one to remain staid and comforting. I remember the feelings of role reversal and the realisation of inadequacy. Susan pried James from a light sleep in his specially padded cot and brought him into the kitchen. His appetite had all but vanished some time ago. Pills and drugs filled the spaces I suppose. Trips to McD’S had no interest these days. Occasionally though, it was possible to tempt him into eating enough to subsist.. Nin knocked on my door, came in and slid naked into bed next to me. It was lovely to have her warm brown body snuggled up against me.‘Has Shane gone?’She nodded. ‘He on duty now.’ She heaved a big sigh..‘How’s it going with you two?’She smiled, ‘He wonderful, Jamie. I think I am in love, but I am scared.’I put my arm around her and pulled her into a hug. ‘Have you talked to him about how you feel?’She shook her head. ‘I don't want him to leave, like the others.’I hugged her tight. It made my heart ache to think about how much she must have been hurt in the past. She deserved someone to love her back. I thought if the two of them weren’t going to talk about it, then they might need a helping hand. I tickled her and she wiggled around giggling like a k**. ‘Come on, let’s get ready. I need a shower and some breakfast.’By the time Dao arrived to pick us up I had dressed as Jamie. I reasoned that I wanted to do a good job as Kritsada’s escort tonight then I should start right away..
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